Progress
by Cindy Ryan
Summary: Sheppard/Keller. Tag to Remnants


Title: Progress  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairings: Sheppard/Keller  
Summary: Tag to Remnants

Dr. Jennifer Sheppard was mentally kicking herself as she moved through the hallways of Atlantis.  
She couldn't help but replay the argument she'd had with her husband before he'd left to take the biologists to the mainland.

After everything he'd endured now it just seemed trivial and silly. Jennifer shook her head sadly but at the time it's what she had felt.  
As she recalled the hurt in John's voice Jennifer chided herself once again for being a new bride.  
But then everyone deals with jealousy differently.

_/ "I can't believe we're having this conversation."John stated as he whirled away from the closet a shirt in hand. "I volunteered to escort, that's it."_

_Jennifer folded her arms across her chest as she leaned against the opposite wall. "She's pretty."_

_"I hadn't noticed."John replied as he held up his left hand letting the light bounce off his ring. "Married…..to someone I thought trusted me."_

_"Let Woosley send somebody else."_

_John threw the shirt on the bed as he walked around it. "It's slow right now….gives me something to do."_

_"Instead of spending time with your wife?"Jennifer countered as she pushed away from the wall and headed toward the bathroom._

_John winced as he turned toward her. "That's not what I meant, angel."_

_"You'd rather spend a boring day babysitting a couple biologists than enjoy a day off with me?"Jennifer replied tearfully as she turned around. "I never thought you'd lie to me."_

_John blinked. "I haven't."_

_Jennifer's vision blurred from the tears. She changed direction grabbing her jacket and walked quickly toward the front door._

_"I have to go."_

_"Angel…..you have no reason to…."_

_Jennifer ducked past his outstretched hand and into the hall. /  
_

Jennifer swallowed hard as she pushed the memories back. They say hindsight is twenty-twenty.

She should've known John would never cheat on her. Jennifer saw his love every time he looked at her. Every time he held her close.

Jennifer pulled her jacket tighter around herself as she passed one of the open alcoves. Some days she couldn't believe John had chosen her and her insecurities had shown full force that day.

Every marriage advice Jennifer had ever heard had the same theme. Never go to bed angry. She and John needed to modify that to never go off world angry.

Jennifer activated her radio and keyed it to a private channel.

"Sheppard to Sheppard."

Silence.

Jennifer blinked away the tears and continued her search. When Jennifer found John she knew she had a lot to apologize for…..she could only hope that he'd forgive her.

**********

John Sheppard stood leaning against the balcony that had become he and his wife's private escape.  
Though he was sure most of Atlantis knew where they went but left them alone.

John watched the moonlight from the twin moons dance across the waves.  
He flexed his right hand still amazed that it'd all been in his head.

The pain had certainly felt real enough.  
So had the fear.

Fear not for himself but for Jennifer and the rest of his family.  
Fear that even his sacrifice couldn't save them.

John's right hand clenched into a fist…..just the thought of Kolya being anywhere near his wife…….

John sighed and shook his head….even dead the man still got under his skin. Why he didn't know….Elizabeth, Rodney and the city had survived that day and Kolya had died.  
Way it should be….good guys won…..bad guys didn't.

So why had his subconscious gone back to that? Was the Kolya hallucination right? Was he running from his failures?  
It wasn't like that list was short enough that he could hide or run from.

"There you are."

John turned at the familiar voice and smiled. "Angel….been looking for me?"

Jennifer was relieved to see his smile as she reached up to touch her ear. "You're not answering your com."

"Sorry."John replied as he crossed over to her and drew his wife into an embrace. "Was thinking….didn't hear it."

Jennifer melted against his chest inhaling his scent as she closed her eyes. "You okay?"

"Yeah."

"John….."

"I will be……I've never liked things getting into my head and taking over."

Jennifer pulled back and reached up to gently touch his face. "I know….it's not fun."

John cringed he hadn't meant to bring up bad memories for her….he wasn't exactly batting a thousand in the husband department lately.

"I'm sorry, angel…..didn't mean to bring up ugly memories."

"It's okay…..I'm just grateful none of it was real."

John shook his head. "You and me both…..it sure as hell seemed real…..pain definitely was."

Jennifer took a deep breath as she met her husband's gaze. "John….about earlier….before you left…..I'm sorry I was such an idiot………"

John captured her hand in his. "Angel……"

"Let me finish…..I do trust you….completely…..with my heart and my life. I can't believe I ever thought that you'd cheat…….."

John's grip tightened on hers not breaking his gaze. "Never, angel, never. I love you more than anything……real or not that's what kept me going on the main land. I couldn't let Kolya get to you…..couldn't let him get to the city…..no matter what."

Jennifer smiled blinking away the tears. "You are a hero, John Sheppard."

John leaned in and kissed her. "Only to you."

Jennifer shook her head as the kiss ended. "How can you not think that you are?"

John took her hand and tugged her over to the railing. Once there he leaned back against it pulling her into his arms once more.

"I have a lot of regrets, angel…..a lot of failures."

Jennifer pulled back so she could see his face. "You've saved a lot of lives over the years, John. Don't ever forget that."

"I'll try."John whispered his voice barely audible over the wind as he rested his chin on top of his wife's head.

John turned to look at the ocean……maybe just maybe with Jennifer's help he was making progress.

Maybe he could stop running from his failures.  
One day he might be the hero she thought he was.

John tightened his embrace as he whispered. "I love you, angel."

"I love you too."Jennifer replied as she rested her head on his chest.

end


End file.
